Musings-2

 

I came across a reel recently. I don’t know what to make of it. I consider myself too backdated, backward minded, conservative, possibly jealous(sic). The reel concerned Suzanne khan, Hrithik Roshan’s ex-wife’ s Christmas party this year. The handsome hero Hrithik was there with his current girlfriend, his ex-wife, here Suzanne with her current boyfriend, the two lovely kids of the couple and other guests. How naturally they all clicked pictures together, Hrithik, his current, Suzanne, her current, their parents, the boys – all in one frame.

I imagined my father’s face had it been such a situation in my house. He would have shouted, openly slanged the nuisance I made of his upbringing and vehemently ensured that he had nothing to do with it. My mother-in-law would have kept mum, but ensured that she was absent from the whole arrangement. It is impossible to imagine the hearty participation of anybody else – I can see grumpy, sad, heart broken faces lay aside smiling and clicking pictures or that compulsory photo sessions in a Christmas party.

 

I now come to believe that I am extremely poor, I have a very low, backdated mindset. I am not comfortable sharing my husband or seeing him cozy-cooing with some other women in my presence. It requires a lot of mental strength. Even after a divorce, or if moving on has been smooth, I wonder how many of us would be comfortable in such gatherings. Was it only an hour visit? Did they not feel uncomfortable at the end of the party? How easy is it to hug an ex-husband’s current partner and putting it up with a smiling face? I believe it requires a lot of grit, patience, strength, none I think I would have in such a situation. I don’t want to be judgmental, I haven’t seen the world as they have, I haven’t seen stardom and never will, but I do admire how easily they can mould themselves to fit the box perfectly.

 I don’t think I will (who knows, “kal kisne dekha hain”). I blame it on my middle-class upbringing, middle class values, high notions of loyalty, fidelity, commitment and compromise (notions that in the modern days are constantly under the questionable radar). I saw my parents together- loving, caring, quarrelling – staying put for 65 years (until my mother’s death) and believed this to be the norm.

Things are changing today, and we advise our juniors and children that it is better to get separated rather than live in an abusive relationship. But this particular reel vexed me. How far have we come!

I would rather be poor for now! :)